Feedback Isn’t About Your Ego – It’s About Being Helpful

Five ways to give feedback that’s useful, not self-serving

Eva Corbisier (France)/Unsplash+

I once met a leader no one wanted feedback from. Not because he was mean, harsh, or challenging, but because he made everything about himself.

During a team meeting where everyone shared their work for feedback, this leader ignored my suggestion to let the team speak first. He jumped in right away with aggressive, all-over-the-place comments that weren’t backed by facts. Instead of helping improve the solution, he tore it down.

His “improvements” weren’t helpful – they were impositions that didn’t address the actual problem.

When he finished speaking, the conversation wasn’t about the idea anymore. It was all about him – what he liked, his standards, and his imprint on the work.

Simply put, this leader wasn’t giving helpful feedback. He was just pleasing his ego.

If you search for articles about feedback and ego, most focus on the receiver – how to receive it without taking it personally. Others offer tips for giving feedback without hurting feelings. Howev…