Metaphors: A Powerful Way to Have Courageous Conversations
Why thinking like a rock band helps teams find their rhythm
The band was out of sync. Members were going through the motions. The creative energy was gone. Everyone could feel it, but no one could say it out loud.
This wasn’t really a band—it was a Fortune 100 team. Still, the metaphor was about to help them find their rhythm again.
When I spoke to each person individually, I saw a clear pattern. The team felt stuck and undervalued, but everyone was avoiding the conversation.
Nothing had worked before, and I was brought in as a last resort. So I tried something different: “You’re a rock band that’s lost its mojo. You’re not playing the same music anymore. Some of you are just going through the motions. Others are frustrated because they can’t try something new. You need to make a choice.”
The room went silent as I gave them two options.
“What’s your next act? Do you want to restart this band, or is it time for some of you to go solo?”
Metaphors help us make new connections and create clear mental pictures. The rock band metaphor reframed the problem: It wasn’t about individual frustrations—it was about the group losing sync.
One member admitted she’d been thinking about leaving. Another said he was frustrated because no one seemed to care. Someone else wasn’t sure if they belonged anymore. The conversation was tough, but people were honest—even with their boss present.
Most chose to stay and restart. That’s when the real work began.
What kind of music would they play going forward? How would their roles evolve? What would “success” look like for this new version of the band?
The metaphor didn’t fix everything right away. But it did something even more valuable: It gave the team language for what everyone was feeling but couldn’t express.
We usually try to fix cultural problems by finding the root cause, discussing what’s wrong, or using complex frameworks. But facts and logic won’t change your culture’s narrative. Metaphors give us a more human way forward. Here’s how they can help you start courageous conversations.
How Metaphors Drive Change
“Change the story and you change the future.”—Alberto Manguel
Metaphors aren’t just fancy words. They’re powerful tools that change how we think. They help us talk about unfamiliar topics and explain complex dynamics. Metaphors are especially useful when teams avoid difficult conversations.
We understand abstract ideas by connecting them to our experiences. Researchers George Lakoff and Mark Johnson demonstrated that we naturally think in metaphors. Neuroscience shows that metaphors help us understand complex ideas better than long explanations.
Metaphors aren’t just how we talk; they’re how we think.
The rock band metaphor worked because it was familiar: Rock bands don’t last forever. Some split. Others swap members. Some need to reinvent themselves to stay relevant. Most importantly, the metaphor changed the focus from blaming each other to being out of sync.
Metaphors work because they make it easier to understand things. They replace complicated data with simple mental images. Instead of wrestling with vague concepts like “cultural misalignment,” teams can understand “we’re playing different music.” The tough problem is still there, but the metaphor makes it more human.
Metaphors also reframe our thinking patterns—and our solutions. When we describe crime as a “virus,” people want social programs to make communities “immune.” But when we describe crime as a “beast,” people want to catch and punish offenders.
Language changes our preferences. In one study, people read three descriptions of the same idea: one framed as a “lightbulb moment,” another as a “seed taking root,” and a third used no metaphor. People who read the lightbulb version thought the idea was far more exceptional.
Research shows metaphors help us make sense of things and manage our emotions. That’s why they’re so powerful in workplace culture. Metaphors provide perspective while keeping emotional connection.
Most critically, metaphors make difficult conversations possible. They help people manage anxiety by bringing clarity to uncertainty. When everyone uses the same story, it’s easier to talk. We feel less attacked and safer.
The trick is using metaphors strategically.
Seven Ways Metaphors Facilitate Courageous Conversations
“Her words were fire, scorching everyone in the room.”— Toni Morrison
Here are the most common ways I use metaphors to help my clients have courageous conversations. Some of the examples are technically analogies, but they function as metaphors because they reshape meaning.
1. Metaphors Make Courage Possible
The most important issues often stay hidden because people are afraid to speak up. They worry about power dynamics, getting in trouble, or disrupting harmony. That means teams find creative ways to avoid the conversations they most need to have.
Metaphors make it safer to name what’s been invisible. They make the risk feel smaller by creating some playful distance while keeping things real.
I use the Stinky Fish metaphor to help teams address the problems that everyone sees but nobody wants to talk about—issues that will only get worse if ignored. The playful framing helps people be honest without attacking anyone.
2. Metaphors Make the Invisible Visible
Trust, psychological safety, and belonging matter. Everyone agrees. But these concepts are hard to grasp. How do they show up at work? How do we know if they’re improving or declining? How do we talk about them without making people defensive?
Metaphors turn abstract concepts into something you can identify, measure, and act on.
I use the trust battery metaphor to help teams reflect on their own approach to trust. Some people start with a full battery—they trust right away. Others start with an empty battery and wait for proof. The battery also shows how other people’s actions affect trust. Some people fill their battery slowly. Others need more evidence before trusting.
3. Metaphors Let People Be Human
Most executives shut down the moment we mention “vulnerability” or “feelings.” These words sound like a weakness, touchy-feely, or a waste of time that has nothing to do with real work.
Instead, I use metaphors to talk about feelings without scaring people away. They make it safe to be vulnerable without calling it that.
For example, I ask leaders to check in using a weather metaphor. Instead of “How are you feeling?” which gets shallow answers, I ask “What was the weather like at work this week?” Suddenly, people open up. Stormy means obstacles and frustration. Foggy means confusion. Sunny means progress.
People can choose how deep they want to go—some stick with a simple report, while others explain the conditions behind their weather. The metaphor gives people room to be candid while using language that feels okay for them.
4. Metaphors Make Sense of Confusion
The hardest problems to talk about are the ones we can’t articulate. Misalignment, cultural drift, declining trust—these dynamics live in the gap between what people feel and what they can put into words.
Metaphors bridge this gap. They give people a structure to organize their thoughts and spot patterns.
I use the Cultural Tensions Canvas to help teams identify the emotions, mindsets, and behaviors pulling them in different directions. The metaphor of movement—forward and backward—makes cultural dynamics tangible. Instead of thinking in black-and-white terms of good or bad, teams map specific behaviors: what’s pulling us forward and what’s dragging us backward. The canvas helps people describe clashing patterns—it gives them a language and framework to deal with human tensions.
5. Metaphors Reveal Hidden Beliefs
Beliefs are invisible but powerful. They shape every decision we make—what risks feel acceptable, what behaviors get rewarded, and what problems get ignored. When beliefs go unexamined, they quietly sabotage even the best plans.
The problem is that beliefs are hard to uncover. People don’t know they’re operating from assumptions until someone questions them.
Metaphors help teams examine the beliefs driving their choices before those beliefs hurt them.
I created the How (Not) to Sink Your Ship canvas to uncover beliefs that put teams at risk. The ship metaphor makes risk concrete: What are the small cracks? What warning signs are we ignoring? What beliefs that served us early on might sink us now?
The metaphor turns invisible beliefs into something teams can see and decide to keep or change.
6. Metaphors Get People Moving
When teams face challenges—uncertainty, rapid change, or feeling powerless—they freeze. The problem feels too big, the path forward too unclear, the obstacles too many.
Metaphors help teams see where they have control and take action.
I use the Regain Your Power Canvas with teams that are stuck. The canvas uses a judo move as the central metaphor—you regain control by using your opponent’s force. On one side, teams capture everything that feels overwhelming or outside their control. By flipping the canvas, they focus on the other side: what they can control.
Flipping the canvas itself creates energy for action.
7. Metaphors Help People Find Meaning
Culture is often weaponized when leaders’ words and actions don’t match. This often happens when executives just fill in blanks instead of truly committing. I see this quite often when helping leadership teams define their company’s purpose, values, or principles. Most jump to generic, empty words.
You can’t have ChatGPT define your values—what matters to you.
I use the Write Your Own Obituary exercise to help leaders connect with their true legacy. If you were to die tomorrow, who would care? How would people remember? What would your obituary say? This shifts the conversation from corporate speak to personal values.
It’s not an easy conversation, but the metaphor is powerful. Teams end up with purpose statements that are human, meaningful, and specific. Most importantly, it’s not just words on paper but a real commitment.
How to Use Metaphors Well: Mistakes to Avoid
“Metaphors have a way of holding the most truth in the least space.”—Orson Scott Card
Metaphors aren’t magic. They’re just tools—and like any tool, they fail when used poorly. I’ve seen facilitators use the Stinky Fish canvas in the wrong context, and it completely backfired.
Here’s what you need to know:
Context is everything. You can’t just use metaphors out of the blue. You need to set up why you’re using them, why right now, and what you want to achieve. The rock band metaphor worked because I already knew from our conversations that the team was not in sync.
Choose the right metaphor. Not every metaphor fits every problem. Weather metaphors work well for emotional check-ins, but they won’t work to fix low trust. The ship metaphor helps leadership teams find hidden risks, but it doesn’t work as well for teams that don’t make important decisions.
Connect the dots. Don’t assume people will immediately see how the metaphor applies to their situation. Explain your choice and provide context. When I used the rock band metaphor, I talked about bands that lasted one season, some that stayed together for decades, and artists who did better after going solo.
Give metaphors a framework. Metaphors start conversations, but they need structure to generate action. With the rock band metaphor, I created two canvases: one for personal reflection (should I stay or should I go?) and another to design the relaunch (what does our next act look like?). The metaphor sparked the conversation—the tools helped them make real decisions.
Prepare for pushback. Some people will resist. They’ll find metaphors silly, manipulative, or a waste of time. Resistance often means you touched a nerve. Many executives struggle with writing their obituary; they don’t want to think about their death.
Facilitation matters. A lot. Metaphors make conversations easier, but they are not frictionless. When the team starts talking about stinky fish or cracks in the ship, only skilled facilitation can turn tension into progress. You’ll need to handle disagreements, old grudges, and defensive reactions. The metaphor opens the door. Your job is to guide people through it.
Open Up New Perspectives
“Metaphors have a way of holding the most truth in the least space.”—Orson Scott Card
Metaphors are powerful, but they don’t solve problems on their own. They help start courageous conversations in a way that feels more human and easier.
The rock band metaphor didn’t fix the team instantly. But it did something more important: It allowed people to admit they weren’t in sync and discuss what to do next.
The conversations you’re not having are costing you more than you realize. What metaphor will you use to break the silence?