Is power real or relative? Consider this riddle from Game of Thrones. Three great men sit in a room—a king, a priest, and a rich man. Between them stands a swordman. Each man asks the soldier to kill the other two. Who lives, who dies?"
"It depends on the soldier," answers Tyrion Lannister.
"Does it? He has no crown, no gold, and no favor with the gods."
"He has a sword, the power of life and death."
"But if soldiers really rule, why do we pretend kings have all the power? Power resides where men believe it resides. It's a trick. A shadow on the wall. Even a small man can cast a big shadow."
This riddle illustrates a common trap: The illusion of power. We often give away our power by believing others are more powerful than they really are. We don't recognize the power we actually possess.
Power isn't real—it's relative. Your perception of power shifts based on what you pay attention to. People often appear more powerful than they actually are. That's why successful change agents focus on what they can control or influence, rather than measuring their power against others.
If you've ever felt powerless to drive change, this article is for you. You have more than you think. You just need to know where to focus.
Why We Feel Powerless Even When We're Not
"The opposite of courage is not cowardice, it is conformity." — Rollo May
People consistently underestimate their ability to change things. I've seen many talented team members who could make real improvements, but they hold back. They assume someone else should act, surrendering their power to others without realizing it.
This mindset costs companies millions in lost opportunities. Power lies in the eye of the beholder. Most employees have more power than they think. What we believe often becomes our reality.
We think that if something important needs fixing, someone with authority will do it. But what if everyone feels the same way?
Psychologists John Darley and Bibb Latané tested this assumption and discovered why people often fail to act. In their experiment, students believed they were participating in a group discussion via intercom when one person suffered a seizure. When participants thought they were the only witnesses, 85% reported the emergency. However, when they believed others had also observed the seizure, that number plummeted to just 31%.
This phenomenon is called the "bystander effect:" The more people who witness a problem, the less likely anyone is to intervene. When everyone is responsible, no one feels personally responsible. That's why so many employees witness toxic behaviors, unethical decisions, or strategic mistakes, but say nothing. They assume someone more "powerful" will handle it.
The word 'power' comes from the Latin posse, which means 'to be able to act.'
Consider Enron. Hundreds of employees witnessed the accounting irregularities, but most stayed quiet. They assumed higher-ups would step in. By saying nothing, they became complicit in one of America's biggest corporate scandals.
But one person refused to accept feeling powerless. Sherron Watkins wasn't a top executive. She was just an accountant who found that Enron was hiding losses and inflating profits. "Accounting just doesn't get that creative," she told co-founder Kenneth Lay."
Speaking up had consequences: she was reassigned, attacked, and isolated. But her courage triggered unstoppable events. Enron collapsed, executives faced investigations, and her testimony to Congress led to the passage of the Sarbanes-Oxley Act — a vital step in preventing future fraud.
You don't need extraordinary power to make a big difference.
A Columbia University study explains why most people make the opposite choice. When we feel powerless, others seem to hold all the cards. The more we focus on people's formal authority, the less powerful we feel. We overestimate others' power while underestimating our own. Reclaiming your power starts by challenging this fundamental assumption.
Your Three Sources of Power
You have types of power at your fingertips, and only one needs a title.
The opening riddle reveals a crucial insight: Everyone has three sources of power, but most people fixate on one. If you don't have a fancy title, you may feel intimidated by those in higher positions. But even people with titles often worry about others with a stronger reputation or more influence. Formal authority doesn't guarantee real support. You can force compliance, but to get real buy-in, you need to persuade people, not coerce them.
Put simply, power is influence. Let's look at the three types:
1. Positional Power
This is the power you get from your job or position in the org chart. It's the most visible, but often the least effective in the long term. Positional power makes people follow orders, but it does not inspire genuine commitment. It makes people do things without really caring.
The risk? When people abuse formal authority, it quickly becomes harmful. Research shows power actually changes our brains, reducing empathy and increasing overconfidence.
2. Reputational Power
This comes from your expertise, credibility, and track record. When you consistently deliver results, solve problems, or provide valuable insights, people will seek your input no matter your job title.
Consider the go-to people in your organization. The tech person everyone calls when systems crash at night. The project manager who rescues failing projects. The customer service rep who can win back unhappy clients.
These individuals have influence because they've earned trust by being good at what they do. Nobody gave them permission to be influential—they earned it through their work.
3. Relational Power
This comes from your personal connections and trust. Some people are naturally skilled at building bridges, bringing groups together, and helping others succeed. Their influence comes from who trusts them, not what they know.
They understand that lasting change happens through people, not force. They invest in relationships during normal times so they have social capital when it really matters.
You don't need anyone's permission to build reputational or relational power. Most people wait for someone to give them a title while ignoring the influence they're already creating every day.
We overestimate others' power because we often focus on their formal authority and miss their limitations. But unpopular leaders are powerless, no matter their formal authority. So, why do we underestimate our own power? There are three reasons:
We take our expertise and knowledge for granted
We built relationships naturally, so we don't realize their value
We fail to appreciate the impact of our influence
Meanwhile, the biggest changes in history came from people who refused to believe they were powerless. Whistleblowers throughout history didn't act because they were powerful, but because they chose to use whatever power they had.
How Powerless People Change the World
History's most significant changes came from people who refused to accept the illusion of their own powerlessness.
Here are some ways in which powerless people have changed the world. And how you can, too.
Patience beats force:
When you have no official power, your moral strength becomes your advantage. Gandhi had no weapons against the British Empire's control of India. Instead, he used peaceful protests and fasting. This created a tough choice for the British: let him die and create a martyr, or admit his influence and negotiate.
Gandhi’s strong reputation, built on unwavering principles, ultimately paid off and paved the way for India's independence.
When you have nothing left to lose, threats don't work:
In 2003, Ambassador Joe Wilson exposed how White House twisted intelligence to justify the Iraq War in a New York Times op-ed, knowing the administration would retaliate. They did—exposing his wife, Valerie, as a CIA agent, ruining her career and putting her in danger.
But Wilson had already sacrificed his own reputation for truth. With nothing else to lose, he became unstoppable. His bravery led to investigations that exposed the government's lies.
Credibility gives you the right to challenge power:
Michael Bell wanted to convince Steve Jobs to enter the phone market. Jobs had already dismissed phones as products that sucked. Most employees wouldn't dare push back against one of the most iconic and powerful tech personalities.
But Bell had earned a reputation through years of good work. He sent a late-night email detailing his reasoning. After a lengthy debate, Jobs eventually relented and greenlighted the project. The iPhone became Apple's most successful product ever.
Keep trying, even when everyone says no:
Spencer Silver attempted to create super-strong glue for aerospace use. Instead, he created weak glue that barely stuck—a complete failure. For six years, coworkers ignored his "solution looking for a problem." Management saw no use for failed experiments.
But Silver refused to give up, presenting at every company meeting. He reframed his failure as a feature: what if you wanted removable adhesive? The leaders finally saw the potential. Post-it Notes became a billion-dollar business.
Show, don't just tell:
Paul Buchheit, Google's employee #23, wanted to create an email service despite everyone opposing it. Colleagues called it "a very bad idea" unrelated to Google's search mission. Without authority to overrule senior staff, he built a working prototype instead.
When Buchheit showed 1GB of storage—250 times more than competitors offered—critics went silent. Results spoke louder than job titles. The rest is history.
Your principles are your strongest defense:
Recently, in the US, major law firms faced unprecedented government pressure to comply with the current administration's demands. Many caved, even offering hundreds of pro-bono hours to avoid a fight. However, they quickly discovered that compromise breeds contempt. Many experienced an exodus of lawyers and clients.
Meanwhile, firms that chose principles over profit are now winning in court and gaining new clients. Losing your integrity makes you powerless. Companies want to work with law firms willing to fight. If you can't stand up for yourself, why would clients trust you to defend them?
Regain Your Power
Power isn't fixed —it changes based on the context and what we prioritize. When you focus too much on the formal authority, you surrender your own power. You actually have more influence than you think through your skills, relationships, and reputation.
Back to the Game of Thrones dilemma: Power exists where people believe it exists. But when someone questioned that assumption, everything changed.
Power exists where you believe it exists. The illusion of powerlessness often becomes an excuse for inaction. Stop thinking you need a corner office or a title to change things around. Instead of asking "Who can give me permission?" ask "What can I start doing right now without permission?"
The shadow you cast can be much larger than you think.
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