Why Feedback Is Like Sex

Everyone does it, but few do it well

Everyone does it, but few do it well

Photo by Andre Guerra on Unsplash

How often do you do it?

Feedback is like sex — everyone wants more. A large majority considers that feedback is valuable. And they want to practice it more often. Nearly 60% of employees would like to receive it more frequently — on a daily or weekly basis.

But, just like sex, there’s a difference between doing it and doing it well. Here’s why.

We assume the other person wants it too

That you desire something, doesn’t mean the other person wants it as well.

Falling into the temptation is easy. An employee ‘wants to talk’ and we immediately think s/he is looking for feedback. Either because we want to help, share our experience, or simply look smart. However, unsolicited feedback doesn’t help — it pleases the giver more than the receiver.

Sometimes people just want to talk — either they need to blow steam, share something, or think out loud. In most cases, when people say they want to talk to you is because they want to do …