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Why We Envy the Life Others Desired First
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Why We Envy the Life Others Desired First

The illusion of the before and after

Gustavo Razzetti's avatar
Gustavo Razzetti
Feb 22, 2019
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Why We Envy the Life Others Desired First
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The illusion of the before and after.

Photo by Dietmar Becker on Unsplash

We have an obsession with ‘before and after’ pictures.

Whether it’s a friend who lost 60 pounds, a celebrity’s 10-year challenge on Instagram or our neighbor’s home extreme makeover, we can’t resist a transformation. We identify with the original problem and feel inspired by how things turned out.

That’s why before-and-afters are so captivating — they provide an emotional reward to both protagonists and spectators. That illusion comes at a high price though: we idealize the improvement but don’t appreciate the journey.

So, when do we cross the line between admiration and frustration?

The desire to live someone else’s life seeds envy — we suffer when others experience good fortune.

Envy is a powerful emotion. It can either motivate us or make us resentful.

We Can’t Resist Comparing to Others

“Man is the creature who does not know what to desire, and he turns to others in order to make up his mind. We desire what others de…

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