You Dreaded That Conversation. Now You Regret It.

My Book Is About That Pivotal Moment.

This is not one of my typical posts, but I’m confident you’ll enjoy it. Hint: I'll give you a peek at my new book.

I’m writing this from a house in the middle of the North Carolina mountains — the perfect setting for a 10-day writing retreat. Just me, my manuscript, and way too many ideas fighting for attention.

I wasn’t making as much progress on my book Forward Talk© as I wanted. So, I did something drastic: I cleared my calendar, rented a quiet house in the woods, and went all-in. No clients. No calls. Just deep work.

Taking this kind of break wasn’t easy. It’s a privilege to step away, say no to work, and focus on creating. But I believe in this book. I believe it needs to be written. And I know I have the perspective, the practice, and the scars to write it.

Working in a beautiful, quiet place surrounded by trees has reminded me of what’s possible when we protect our time and energy. I always make space for deep work. This time, I was ruthless.

This post is an invitation to go behind the scenes. I’ll share an excerpt from the book, but more importantly, I want to show you why this project matters and how it connects to what you face every day at work.

Why This Book Matters

Most teams aren’t stuck because they lack talent, strategy, or good intentions. They’re stuck because they keep running in circles through the same unproductive conversations – or avoiding them altogether.

Not all conversations, of course. But the ones that matter most:

- The ones that define priorities.

- The ones that clarify direction.

- The ones that elevate ideas.

- The ones that shape decisions.

I see this across the board, from startups and scale-ups to global corporations. When these conversations go wrong, they don’t just slow things down. They create a burden that accumulates over time.

That’s what I call conversational debt.

Like financial debt, it compounds. Every fake yes, every unaddressed tension, every conversation we avoid, or every meeting that finishes without resolution. All of it adds interest.

One common sign is superficial alignment – when people nod along in meetings but leave with different interpretations or no true commitment. In my recent survey with 5,350 professionals, over 70% of respondents said they’ve seen this behavior play out. Another 69.5% admitted their teams pretend to be aligned even when it’s clear they’re not.

Conversational debt results from backward conversations: stuck loops that keep teams spinning or moving in the wrong direction.

Blame keeps teams anchored in the past or building grudges. Avoidance keeps teams silent or busy addressing symptoms instead of real issues. Groupthink keeps teams moving fast in the wrong direction or quickly agreeing to mediocre solutions.

Forward Talk is the opposite. It’s about conversations that move teams forward with clarity, courage, and commitment.

It’s an actionable framework to move your team forward. To address issues instead of dancing around them. To replace blame with action. To cancel conversational debt and prevent it from piling up again.

This book is personal.

I’ve watched teams stay stuck for months – sometimes years – because they avoided a single conversation. And I’ve worked with those very same teams to help them turn things around — It wasn’t easy.

But once they finally leaned in, things started to change.

That shift didn’t come from magic or a breakthrough framework. It came from realizing that avoidance doesn’t come cheap. I couldn’t guarantee how the conversation would go. But one thing was certain: The debt would only grow if they didn’t give it a try. And in the end, most admitted it wasn’t as hard as they feared.

That’s why this matters to me.

I want to change the idea that speaking up isn’t worth the risk. I’ve seen too many people walk away from roles, relationships, or decisions haunted by what they didn’t say — or didn’t say soon enough.

This book is my contribution to making it easier to begin – and harder to keep avoiding the truth. It’s built not just on research, but on what I’ve learned with teams that want to get better at the hard stuff. It will help your team overcome comfort and compliance.

Here’s how the book opens:

Forward Talk – Introduction: The Invisible Force of Conversations

Here's the simple truth about team performance: Your team's success isn't determined by how hard they work. It's determined by the quality of their conversations, especially the ones you're not having.

Every day, teams accumulate conversational debt – the compound interest of avoided discussions, superficial agreements, and unresolved tensions. Like financial debt, it starts small. A concern left unspoken here, a decision rushed there, or a conflict smoothed over rather than addressed.

Then the bill comes due.

I've spent decades watching this happen. Smart teams get stuck in the same destructive patterns, over and over.

The star performer quits without warning. The product launch fails spectacularly. The merger falls apart. Always the same pattern: critical conversations that never happened.

The quality of your team's conversations determines everything else. However, most of us learned to collaborate through trial and error, picking up habits that actively work against us.

If you want a book about "difficult conversations," there are hundreds. Most provide academic processes that are so structured you practically need a professional coaching certification to master their methods. I promise to keep it actionable without turning you into a team therapist.

This isn't another psychological safety manual either. Conventional wisdom says you must create safe environments before people speak up. Meanwhile, teams wait for perfect conditions while issues compound.

My research reveals a surprising truth: People often stay silent not because they're afraid, but because they believe speaking up won't change anything.

This book is about Forward Talk – conversations that actually move teams forward by addressing real issues with a future focus. You'll discover how teams get trapped in cycles of blame, avoidance, and groupthink. More importantly, you'll learn how to break free.

Spoiler alert: Effective conversations are neither easy nor tension-free. Forward Talk requires courage, curiosity, and commitment. However, it delivers something most teams never experience: genuine progress instead of endless circling.

Every team carries conversational debt across three dimensions. Alignment debt, when you confuse agreement for commitment. Belonging debt, when harmony silences authentic perspectives. Collaboration debt, when process becomes more important than progress.

These debts feed each other, creating a tornado of dysfunction that can tear apart even talented teams.

But if you're skeptical, I'm here to give you hope. Conversations can change everything: With the right approach, your team can manage, reduce, and prevent conversational debt entirely.

The patterns I'll share come from decades of experience with hundreds of teams facing real challenges – not theoretical models, not wishful thinking. Strategies that work whether you're leading the team or just trying to survive it.

Your team can only improve the things you actually talk about.

The highest-performing teams aren't the ones with the most harmony. They're the ones who have learned to address real issues while maintaining forward momentum.

Time to stop accumulating conversational debt and start building conversational wealth.

Ready to move forward?

Your Turn

I finished the manuscript (though it’s never finished). I tested the model with real clients. I’m still polishing stories and exercises.

I’d love to hear how this resonates with you.

- What parts of the intro hit hardest?

- What’s driving conversational debt in your team: blame, avoidance, or groupthink?

- What kinds of solutions could help you move forward?

Your insights matter. The real stories, the messy truths – those are the conversations this book is built for.

Forward Talk is my attempt to address conversational debt for real. Thank you for reading – and for sharing your own war stories.

Connect & Collaborate With Gustavo

• New to the Demystify Culture newsletter? Subscribe for free.

• Let’s connect on LinkedIn

• Explore my culture design services

• Join our upcoming Culture Design Masterclass: Book your seat for June, July, and August masterclasses