You're Not the Average of the People You Spend the Most Time With

Social influence is a tricky thing

Social influence is a tricky thing.

The power of relationships— Pic by Charles Deluvio 🇵🇭🇨🇦

“You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

You’ve probably heard or seen this catchy phrase everywhere. Most people love it — who doesn’t want to be surrounded by people that will help us grow?

However, this can be a double-edged sword — advice meant to raise our bar can instead lower it.

Stop hanging out with failures, the underlying message tells us.

First, how do we determine who is a failure and who’s not? Then, should we treat that person as an outcast? Or, even worse, what happens when you are the one that’s not up to other people’s standards?

Taking this phrase too literally can encourage an oversimplified, dangerous, and unempathetic approach to managing our relationships.

Oversimplified because success requires more than just spending time with the ‘right people’ — there’s not enough research to support the claim either.

Dangerous because it doesn’t address the po…