You can't walk in other people's shoes—A shot of fearless culture #436

Your weekly dose of culture insights and exercises, one topic at a time.

Aug 05, 2026

Are you managing behavior or intent?

Last week, I interviewed a group of senior executives at a tech firm. Each had concerns about their peers. The CTO complained that Legal missed a deadline. The CFO believed no one, not even the CEO, had high standards as he did. The CEO felt the marketing lead had checked out and stopped bringing her A-game.

They were complaining about different things, but asking for the same help: how to work with a difficult colleague.

Everyone was someone else’s problem.

My first move was to challenge that narrative. “Have you talked to your colleague?” “Have you asked them why they’re acting that way?”

No one had.

They were judging people based on assumptions, not facts. They assumed intent. Instead of trying to understand what was happening, it felt easier to label someone as “difficult.”

Without context, overwhelmed looks identical to lazy. Skeptical can look like negativity.

We can’t walk in someone else’s shoes. The reality is that we are bad at reading people. We carry our own beliefs, filling in the gaps with our story. Not what really happened.

Stop trying to guess what people are thinking. Ask. What concerns are they carrying? What trade-offs are they juggling? What do others get wrong about them?

Conflict isn’t driven by the issue itself. What escalates conflict is the narrative we build, and then defend as if our lives depend on it.

That’s what happened with these executives. Instead of solving the issue, they were stuck judging others. They were managing intent, not behavior.

Stay fearless, my friend.

Gustavo

This Week’s Article

→ You Don’t Manage Behavior. You Manage Intent.

In Case You Missed It

→ How to Start a Difficult Conversation at Work

Ask Your Team This

What do people on this team misunderstand about your role?

⚠️ Try This: Guess Your Partner

We all think we know the people we love. This exercise puts that assumption to the test.

Sit down with your couple or someone who knows you well. Share these questions and have each other guess how the other would answer. Write down the answers without discussing them first.

What does a perfect day look like for you?
What’s your idea of a perfect vacation?
Would you rather go out or spend a quiet night at home?
What’s something you’ve always wanted to do, and still regret not trying?
What are you most grateful for?
What is one of your most meaningful memories?
If you could undo one mistake in your life, which one?

Review the answers one question at a time. Don’t just compare notes. Discuss the misses and what drove the wrong assumptions. Where did those assumptions come from? Which beliefs are you guessing?